New Pie at TONIC, Foggy Bottom, DC

Pizza

I was out having a man-date with a buddy, and we ended up at Tonic in Foggy Bottom. I had never been there, but after the visit, I can claim to be an expert. ‘Bold!’ you exclaim, and I agree, I am bold.

If it’s nice out, sit on the BACK porch, not the front porch. Also, watch out for tipping umbrellas out back- slide your umbrella up next to your bench so that it has a brace for those summertime breezes that ravage the DC area.

When your server greets them, GREET THEM BACK. It’s the right thing to do. If you have a server named Kristen, she may have been my server on this fine day. She’s probably the best server in the pizza-ing restaurants in that block of DC. So.. yeah, you’ll be lucky if you get her.

“ENOUGH TALK. LET’S PIZZA.”

MenuThe pizza we tried was the “Nicky’s Cutie Pie Pizza.” It was so fresh it wasn’t on the menu, instead it was on a menu-card insert. I asked the wonderful Kristen what her favorite pizza was, and she pointed us straight to this beast.

It comes with marinara, chicken, bacon, mushrooms, Mozzarella, and Parmesan. It delivered on flavor.

“It was an umami-festival in my mouf!”

The toppings worked well together, and all that meat, mushroom and Parmesan joined forces to seriously deliver some umami straight to those craving taste buds of mine. I was feeling like this pizza was a 7, my friend thought 6… (He was right).

The next morning for breakfast I tried out a cold slice, and it affirmed his speculation. You see my friend, the crust was thinnish and non-exciting. It did it’s job, like a disinterested teenager at a “take your kid to work day” event. Sure it was there, and yes it allowed things to happen around it, but it lacked flavor AND texture.

Unacceptable. So even though the taste of the toppings was truly mind-numbingly savory-superb, this pizza gets a 6. AND IT WAS ALL THE CRUST’S FAULT… But not Kristen’s, she was probably correct in saying that this was the best pizza they offer- I assume that they will all be served on that imposter, COUGH-white bread-COUGH, ahem, crust.