What the schnitzel?

I am a descendant of Constantine the Great, Flavius Valerius Aurelius Constantinus Augustus (c. 27 February 272 – 22 May 337).

He loved pizza. I love pizza. It’s in my family’s blood.

Many establishments sell pizza. And many sell good pizza. But my ancestor didn’t settle for good, he needed greatness. I am no different. I am Mattoius Constantinus Lovesacus Pizzacus, and as such I will make an official sounding statement on the matter:

I, Mattoius Constantinus Lovesacus Pizzacus, hereby declare, that for this blog I will travel barren and horrid wastelands in search of pizza oases, at great personal peril, to eat pizza and to deliver critique and criticism on the pizza which would then be dissolving in my belly.

Let it be written, let it be done, on this day, …uh…, the XXVI of the month of Julius, in the year MMXI. –Mattoius Constantinus Lovesacus Pizzacus